Profile of an Abuser

• Low self-esteem but may appear very confident.
• Trouble trusting others, particularly you.
• Jealous and possessive.
• Controlling.
• May come from a family where there was violence, but sometimes denies this.
• Mood swings or explosive temper.
• Aggressive, dangerous driving.
• Isolates their victim.
• Emotionally and verbally abusive.
• Uses denial.
• Tends to blame others.
• In a fight, they will blame outside stressors, The Boss, Unemployment, Childhood, Alcohol etc
• Possible alcohol or drug user.
• Playful wrestling or teasing that hurts or is not funny.
• General negative and aggressive attitude.
• Risk Assessment
• It is important to identify the level of risk you may be exposed to in a relationship with the emphasis on identification before violence occurs.
• Has your partner become so jealous that you could describe him or her as paranoid?
• Do you often find yourself trying to convince them that you did nothing wrong?
• Have they ever kept you somewhere against your will (car or house)?
• Have they ever repeatedly commanded you to “tell the truth” even when you were not lying?
• Do they say they will die if you leave them or cannot live without you?
• Have they ever talked about killing themselves?
• Have they ever threatened to kill you?
• Have they forced you to have sex when you (did not want to)
• Do you have to justify your actions, activities, and time with your friends?
• Do you want to break up sometimes but feel afraid of what this person might do?

If any of these remind you of yourself and your partner ring the refuge 041-9844550